Vince Roy

by Vince Roy

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Recorded by John Delzoppo at Negative Space in Cleveland, Ohio.

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released August 15, 2011

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Vince Roy Cleveland, Ohio

Excitement and elation beyond the bounds of sobriety.

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Track Name: Forties (need mo)
i know what you are and you aren't what you say.

and impostor in familiar skin, an impostor with a deathmask grin.

an abnormal loss of train of thought there are clouds now and fog, swirls of light and shadow blended in a bottle's bottom. asaturation, i'm empty.

i would drink if i could find some water, but there is a disturbance in the process, a mask, a voyeur watching me and hastening the coming of the darkness.

go back to the dark you impostor.

damn, this disease is incurable. shameful and hurtful and tragically terminal. these fine lines are unwalkable, shaky unbalanced and unreasonable. no, there is no cure for the hopeful so keep your head up and just keep walking nowhere fast. your dreams are a symptom.

i've been to the edge and i stepped back, i've seen the way it looms. i don't want it, but i hear it every day:

"you'll be helped here, can't you hear me? you'll be helped here, you'll get relief. it's quiet here, all peaceful, you'll be helped here."*

you liars.


--
*The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
Track Name: West to the River
there is a tightness in my chest and in my brain. an anxiety made more potent with clarity. hang me up from the rusted nails of your bitter heart, sink me down to the bottom of that river dark.

I saw a woman waiting on the bank of the river. she said something about forever and a lover. and then she muttered 'my lover's become my destroyer,' and then she whispered 'please help me into the river and hold my head under the water.'

muffled scream, muffled scream, a memory, a bad dream. the fucked up noise of sobbing regret.
i brought kerosene to burn down the memory. the fucked up noise of sobbing regret.

we could talk about unity baby but it wouldn't be much of a start. we could talk you being true to me baby but it wouldn't help a broken heart. we'll deliciate in each other for a day and a night, mark it down well and then give up the fight. would that this be recorded for the nothing that follows.
Track Name: Party Time
it doesn't matter what your good book said, the truth is never relative and we all wind up dead. the hell in which you believe resides only in the sun. we all end up there before this is all done.

nameless faces propping up kingdoms, the deaf are leading the blind, who never question what they find in their darkness-cum-light. self stimulation, why never question what you find?

the worms will inherit the earth: have you never felt that statement chew at your self worth? our ego implores us to forever forget there is an end to which this comes. to live forever is part of the legend we've built and i've a question i must ask you:

why aren't you laughing? this isn't funny to you? myth dictating reality? this isn't funny to you?

your existential masturbation fuels my mental frustration. rip the face off your savior, my attacker, so much fucking faster than explaining every goddamn thing you've gotten wrong. don't you know you're being controlled?
Track Name: Grape Party
there are questions about the way i work, about the way i behave in certain situations. it seems trendy to fake happiness, to sing a positive song even when it feels wrong, like a shudder before the dawn.

in the dark with no moon in the sky i ask myself 'why am i fucked up this way?'
in the dawn, i'll laugh at the sun and know it stems from complacency.

look what you've started, i see somebody else out there, waving your flag, waiting for you to do what you promised when all you know is that you'll never deliver. you sack of shit. you're cheating by changing the rules of the game but i'm wise to your tricks, i've been played before.

i'm having a fine time, but this isn't the best night. please leave me alone.

have you contemplated what it means to live your life so selfishly?
have you ever thought of questioning the subculture you're co-opting?

i have questions about the way you work, about the way you behave in certain situations. you seem to like to fake happiness, to sing that bullshit song even when it's all wrong.

i hope you can't sleep at night.
Track Name: Endebt
i am being crushed under the weight of student loans and obstinacy. these fucking assholes in tailor made suits talk of selling and buying and paying their dues.

but my dues are seen as percentage rates while i die in a warehouse packing up crates of clothing and tvs and six point one sound blow my own head off before i drown.

fuck your flawed system, there are answers to be found. fuck your greedy face, i find answers in these sounds.

don't talk down to me.

kick in your door today while i've got the balls to say fuck you, fuck you and your pay raise, your bonus has shown us how much our labor has made, in dollars and cents and meaningless sweat.

i hate you
Track Name: An Ignorant Mirage in a Desert of Fear
oh my beautiful ghost, i'll hold my sobs in my throat as my heart breaks to the beat of the loneliest song. oh dear, oh dear, i need you here. hold my head as i weep, dry my eyes as i speak, loving you is killing me.